I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
