apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
