I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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