If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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