we have officially lost it.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Randomize
