Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
