Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
