He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
