just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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