But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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