you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
