how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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