you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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