Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
