Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
