If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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