your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
How's work?
Spinning.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
