Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
