Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
