Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
