The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
