Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
