i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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