We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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