I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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