508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
