Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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