I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
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My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
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I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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