Don't make out with my wife yet
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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