You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
