Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
