I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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