the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
