remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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