All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
nutella sex= disaster
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
