Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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