and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
