The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
