Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
