I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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