you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
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Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
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he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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