we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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