did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
