I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
