A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
