The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
