so explain again why im purple
no
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
