he puts the penis in happiness.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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