The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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