thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
