none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
As shirtless as possible
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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