I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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