Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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