yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
