he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
