The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
