I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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