I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
