I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
