he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
