you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
